What if it's the thing's they didn't tell us?

Hey y'all it's me Michael. Ever since I came to Northern Arizona University I have noticed that it's all about the things that they didn't tell me. I remember my father would remind me every night until it was engraved in mind the stories of his experience in college. How evil the professors are that give no help and expect you to memorize everything. How everyone was a child prodigy that would make the geniuses seem normal. How every class would be brutally devastating. Well ok, that last one is kind of true but the rest are false entirely.

First stepping onto campus seemed like a whole new world to me. There were buildings towering everywhere and everyone was pushing big blue bins full of luggage. I moved into my current residence of Tinsley Hall where I met my two roommates, Erik and Dane. Erik is a musical prodigy but is extremely demotivated when it comes to getting up for class. Dane is a natural born scientist helping me every night to understand the infinite Calculus equations while he works on Chemistry. As for me well they call me the computer guy because of my experience with computers and I am learning to program. After that I began to meet new people at every turn. Everyone just seemed so friendly at happy to see a new face walking around.   I took it a step further though. After getting unpacked I strolled up and down my dorm wearing my hawaiian shirt, cargo pants, and an umbrella to use as a cane. Thought it was a great way to meet the neighbors and boy was it.

Using meal transfers from our meal plans we decided to find the best places to eat. Which in itself is much bigger challenge than one would think. The food was to die for at every restaurant. Unfortunately it didn't last too long as we found out from our Residence Hall Assistant or RA for short. He explained to us that after two weeks and the parents have all gone and left the food quality stinks. Unfortunately he was more than right but not on all accounts. There still are those places that are to die for but they became way more popular.

As for the professors and teacher assistants well there simply saying that they rock just isn't enough. I am enrolled in five classes this semester and not one teacher disappoints. My Calculus teacher Stephen runs and jumps from one blackboard to another every time a student asks him to give an example. My Computer Science teacher finds very clever ways to mix in programming jokes in the lectures that at times has had the class falling out of their seats. Even my Psychology teacher uses volunteers from the class to demonstrate  how certain concepts work. They are extremely eager to help a student when he/she is struggling with a concept and always remind the class when work due is coming up and any details involved.

Lastly college has taught me that the world is a small place. Within my first month I have met just about everyone else attending NAU from Holbrook! Although I do not remember their last names I remember when and where I met each person the first time. I met Bethany and Eryn while I was walking to the bookstore with my roommate Dane. We were strolling under the rain when suddenly I hear my name being called from across a small field and turn to see them both running at me screaming. I met Jordan at a restaurant called the Hot Spot. I was sitting alone at a table eating lunch before my next class and he sat down next to me saying that my hair gave it away. I met Gage when Jordan brought him over to my dorm to visit. Jordan told me he was bringing somebody from Holbrook but I had no idea it would be Gage. I met Drew outside of Calculus as I was chaining up my bike. I was fiddling with my lock and happened to look up to see him riding up to me. Each of these people gave me an absolute shock when I met them because to think of meeting this handful of people at a university with a population bigger than Holbrook.

Coming to college has shown me that what makes it is the things that they never told me. It's made up of people just as clueless as you coming here to learn. Teachers that are here to keep and hold your attention long enough to get a concept across. Friends from a town that seems worlds away. Most of all though what truly makes the college experience is the people that you meet. People from nearly every country in the world coming together. So the next time you hear one of the infinite stories about college from the old and wise. Try to take it with a grain of salt because that was back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and instead look forward to the day that you can experience it yourself. I hope Mrs. Caffey reads this because I sat down to write this thinking of her and what she taught me.

Little Faith From A Shining Star

     It's been a long time dream of mine now to become a software engineer and design a brilliant video game that will top the charts all over the world. This was originally inspired when i first decided that gaming companies were gorging themselves off the dollars of uninspired and frankly dim gamer's by making extremely small modifications to their previous games and selling them as original ones. I want to be a part of a company that actually designs new games that sell themselves rather then the name. What I never expected was being a part of helping a company start from the ground up.
     It all started when my friend Clayton came up to me one day asking if I had an interest in helping be part of a video game design company. It was all up in the air for a while until he finally brought us together and said it's time to form a company. In the beginning there were seven of us which is now slowly dwindling. We would gather in Mrs. Novell's filming studio and utilize the Smartboard four our presentations and note taking. The first issue was finding a name for ourselves before we even considered developing a game to make. After weeks of debating and trying to find a single original name out there that made sense and wasn't taken we finally pinned down Proxima Centauri. Now game production could finally begin.
     The first issue with that was trying to find out what the game would be all about. We needed to design a story and what kind of genre it would fall under. The game was long under production before we even came close to finding a name for it. Originally six of the members wanted a name for the game that I completely disagreed on and threatened to leave the team should it be chosen. After that another name came up for debate challenging the original and with me included six members moved to make it the name of the game. The only nay sayer was the person who originally thought of the first name that I completely disagreed with. After a massive feud that almost broke up the company we decided to completely trash both names and start the long search for completely different name that we could all agree on. After a couple months of working on the game and throwing out just about any name that came to mind at the weekly meetings we finally found one. The final name of thew game was unanimously voted on to be Martyr.
     What were doing just seems to make sense to people we tell about it. To be honest though all but on of our now six members think the company will really go anywhere but we keep pushing for it anyways. The best thing that we have done so far is making sure that everything we do is done right. Also when we need help we go to sources, mainly teachers, that we know have experience in these sort of matters and can offer some great advice.

The Beginning and Ending

     After what I considered a long struggle in Drama I finally made it to Thespian Induction. It was the first Monday of May and things were smoothly taking their course until Buckwalter warned us that Induction was Wednesday. So we needed to write a speech to give and invite as many people as we could. We even had to find a speaker to kick it off. I grabbed a few invites and headed on over to Peterson's to talk to him about being the speaker. it took a little group persuading but we got him to say ok. After that It was a matter of finding everyone who could go that would go.

     That night as I got home I sat down in-front of Google docs and let the words fly. After a couple hours of non-stop typing I concluded it and looked over my work. I ended up typing a three page speech detailing everything I had always wanted to say since I performed my final performance. During school the next day I realized three pages was really hogging the show. So I sat down again and began cutting out every un-needed paragraph or sentence. After massacring my speech I had managed to cut it by half. So a few quick edits and it was ready for presentation.

     Wednesday finally rolled around the corner and boy was it a long one. Since I have an eighth hour college class on Wednesday's I had to get dressed in the restroom and head on over. Everyone was excited reciting speeches as I walked in. When we weren't making last minute revisions we were finding out whats going to go down when the show starts. It was a small crowd but it was full of familiar faces. So here's how it was supposed to go down.  The lights would go up and we would walk down in pairs to the stage. We would all sit down and Buckwalter would give an introduction speech then Peterson would take the stage and give the traditional Induction speech. After that the inductee's each get up and give a speech. Then it's kind of over.

     Now the differences started with I walked down the steps first by myself. It was kind of cool like I was spear-heading things or so I like to think. Then I just couldn't sit still. It's one thing to sit in classes all day but they keep you distracted and give you changing periods to get up and stretch. During the length speeches I admit I got bored just sitting there smiling. Next apparently I kind of stole the show with my speech. As I sat back down the inductee's were nagging the next speaker asking "wow, Alicia how are you going to follow that up?" All I could do was apologize and hide my laughter.

     After that we held a small reception where everyone could eat sweets and talk about the inductee's speeches. I would have liked to stay longer and talk about the good ol' times but my family was dragging me away. So I waved goodbye and drove off staring at the small paper in my hand. I finally made it to Thespian status but now my high school acting days are over. I think I'll get this award laminated and keep it around for a while just like Mr. Peterson did. Maybe someday when I'm old and gray I can hold it and remember all the good times I had with the random characters I acted with once upon a time.

Drama from a different perspective

Ever since I was introduced to the stage I have been coming back ever since to relive the thrill of acting. There's just something about becoming someone else for a little while with other actors and putting on a show for a crowd on the edge of their seats. The best part is hearing them cheer as you take your bow. My final big performance would be Twelve Angry Jurors and boy did we kill that play. After the countless rehearsals and four successful performances I was ready to walk away from acting and never look back. I put my heart and soul into becoming Juror 3 and now it was time for a rest. Bye Bye Birdie was the follow up musical to Twelve Angry Jurors and I declined auditions still to tired from the last play to jump right another. However by the time I was ready to take on a part the musical was already on its way. I rested after my long sea bearing performance and my next ship set sail without me.

     I wasn't going to miss the performances though so I offered to usher for a couple to get me in free. An hour before show time I stroll up to the doors looking my best. I may not know how to usher but I was going to dress for the part. Two ushers were already at the stairs leading to the auditorium checking tickets so I decided to slip in and watch the crowd. Basically I just looked for people who had their hats on or feet on the seats. An easy job but I seem to be the one who is always stuck doing it. Minutes before showtime as I am beginning to sit down in a closed off section of the house Brian, the techboard worker, walks up to me and asks if I would be the one to sit up at the booth and film the play. Well I figured why not since I had experience working behind a camera and took him up on his offer. Now if i had known how long i would be sitting there staring at the screen I may have had second thoughts.

     There were four performances and I ushered for three of them. The only time I really sat down and watched the show was the second time. Watching them dance and sing on stage really took me back to the plays I have been in. I slowly began to imagine what it was like on stage during my performances and at the end pretended I was up on stage bowing with the cast. My mouth became dry and I grew anxious as I thought of the heat of the stage lights combined with the intense struggles. Watching them perform made me long to just be performing just one last time with them. I immediately began regretting turning down the offers to audition and get a part in all of this Drama. I guess what they say is true you don 't know what you got until it's gone.

Why A Teacher?

     I haven't given it much thought until recently but now that I sit down and think about it I can't understand why anybody would want to become a teacher. The pay isn't the best and the students everyday are a nightmare. I always told myself if i were to ever teach i would be teaching Seniors who have some level of maturity. What about the teachers that teach middle school and down? They must come to work everyday knowing that they get to see snotty brats that won't learn a thing. While going through a normal school day me and my friend encountered perhaps one of the most awful situations we had ever seen. It was as if the student had learned nothing his entire time in the school system. All me and Dwayne could do was face palm and smile as he just kept going on. While we were walking to our next class I pondered what could that teacher possibly get form doing this day after day. With students like this how can you go home after a long day and feel accomplished with yourself.
     The night I type this i actually for the first time ran into a teacher on XBOX Live. I explained to him the situation of what happened in class that day and asked him what keep him going. He simply told me that "you just show up and hope for the best." Which wasn't a great help in my understanding of what drives teachers to do what they do. I believe at the beginning of each year the teachers are looking for that one student in each class who is there to actually learn to draw hope from.
     Ever since I reached Freshman year I have always tried to be that one student that can balance fun in class and still keep up with the workload. As the year progresses teachers really seem to open up to the classes as well. Ironically I have had a few teachers along the line tell me I would be excellent as a teacher. When I picture standing in-front of a hopeless class lecturing all day it gives me second thoughts. I don't think I could draw enough steam from that one or two actual students to keep going.
     Maybe teachers know that every year is just a hopeless bunch but they come for that one or two actual students and just hope for the best with everyone else. Regardless they show up everyday and even though they don't have the best to work with they get by working with what they're given.

Once upon a time

Isn't it funny how memories can be triggered by the most arbitrary things? The smallest object can trigger a memory that has been gathering dust for years. Memorabilia, or things we keep around to remind us of times past, can be very nostalgic. Like when you find an old trophy you won or hear a song that you haven't heard in years. As I mentioned in class it is a joke to try and trigger these nostalgic memories in my video game design class. Mostly we try to use songs to trigger flashbacks. Say we might play a really old Legend of Zelda opening theme which has us all gasping as we flashback to a different time. Almost like time travel when you think about it. Now a flashback can be like stopping and thinking of that moment you have been taken back to or actually having to stop and relive that moment in your mind. I actually experience option two an innumerable amount of the time. I may hear a song that takes me back to my childhood and suddenly I am nine years old again watching Disney movies. Well the thing is today while I was out shopping with my father he bought me some Skull Candy earphones and what better way to test them out then on Youtube. For whatever reason the song "Once Upon a December" from "Anastasia" crossed my mind so I looked it up. Suddenly I was a child again watching the Disney movie "Anastasia" as Anya tries to remember her distant memories from the past. Thinking about my childhood as I got home I began to sift through the disgusting mess known as my closet and found my old Pinewood derby race cars. Carefully, I lifted them from their coffins and stood them next to the trophies they won. Suddenly I am an even younger child than before crossing my fingers as the gate is released and the cars scream down the track. It was the Pinewood Derby and this time I had modified my previous car's design to be sleeker and faster. I looked like a blue wedge but I was mighty proud of my creation as it trumped the competition. Now it was a fight for first between me and two other cars. I hold my breath as the cars reach the finish line. My Blue Phantom rolls into second place sending me off to state. My Blue Phantom wasn't looking good after the town competition. The wheels were sticking and popping off so I glued them in and greased them up as best I could. I remember watching helplessly as my car veered off track on a crash course. It careened with the wall and then was sent flying through the air as I stood frozen in horror. I tried to lunge forward to save my car but it was too late as it slammed on the ground with an audible crack. The Blue Phantom would never be seen on the race track again after that day. A little boy hides his shame and lets his tears fall as his father helps him walk out with what little pride he has left cradling his Blue Phantom race car. As I look back even now I can still feel that heart shattering pain buried deep down as I walked away from that competition with my my shattered dream in hand. The Blue Phantom was placed in a shoe box coffin but would never receive a proper burial. No matter how hard I try I can never get myself to get rid of these old lumps of wood. Mostly because when I look at them I don't see a child's toy but a stadium full of people with my father smiling at me from the crowd as I hold my breath watching my car. I see a small boy with a dream of designing a car that will be faster than all the others. I see a heart stricken boy carry his shattered dreams away letting the pain flow out. Things as arbitrary as a small toy from a decade ago can bring back the past to the present allowing us to relive our old memories. What feelings they evoke depends entirely on the past you may share with that item. What items can you name that not only make you think of but relive the past that you share with that item.

Parental Bonds

So growing up me and my father never really communicated. Mostly because when I went to him about my mother and brothers abuse he just brushed it off and forgot about it. So once both of those factors finally left my life I still couldn't forgive him for never being there for me. It wasn't until my Freshman year of high school that we finally started bonding as father and son. You see the thing was we had moved out of the house and into this little shack between Safeway and the school. Boy I was living large down there and things get better. No mother or bratty sisters wreaking World War 3 each day, No more walking to school or taking the bus, and whenever I wanted something it was just a short walk away. So just me and him living large with one exception. The place was a 3 room shack which meant that we both shared a bedroom and it drove me nuts. Since we spent a lot of time together like that we got to bond almost everyday. Someday's we would leave town to go see a movie or go to my favorite restaurant in town and pig out. Everyday I would come home and tell him how my day at school went. Everything seemed so hunky dory but he wasn't happy. He just wouldn't be happy living anywhere but our old home and I couldn't be happier living anywhere but our old home. Three wonderful years passed in that little shack and we were as thick as thieves. The sun began to shine on a life that had been midnight black for 13 years and I was soaking up every bit of it but it didn't matter a bit to my father. He had to have the old home back from my mother and one day finally managed to coax the deed off her hands. As fast as it had come into my life the little shack, the place I had come to call home, was leaving it as we packed up and headed for the old home again. I tried everything I could to try and cling to my new life at the little shack but my father would not be persuaded choosing his feelings over mine. So now once again I sit in this prison cell of a room with nightmarish memories for cellmates. Now for almost a full year we never bonded or spoke much to each other until Fridays game. We watched the boys basketball semi-Finals for state together with enough junk food to clog our arteries. Thing was my sisters were in the band and left to play at the game which left me and my father alone for the first time in what felt ages. Seeing what a beautiful day it was we hit the store for charcoal, all the meat we could fit in the cart, and a Puss in Boots DVD. I grilled succulent burgers, hot dogs, sausages, and steaks for four hours straight while watching the game with him. After our team lost we crashed on the couch and watched Puss in Boots. It was the first time we had bonded since we left the little shack. If only there were no daughters and it was just father and son maybe we could have had something. Instead he chooses this old home over me ignoring the bond we were building. Sometimes you just need to let things go so that new and better things can flourish in its space. I gave up his past mistakes that ruined my childhood so why couldn't he give up the house for me.

Stand-up Idol

Back during the beginning of time I considered myself a funny kind-of-guy. Well so did the people around, in-fact people always told me that someday I could totally become a stand-up comedian. At first I laughed it off but secretly I had always wanted to be able to do what they do. To stand in-front of thousands of people and make them laugh. There was just always something so strangely satisfying about that dream. Especially when I imagined myself walking on and off stage hearing the audience go mad with applause. Well for President's day family and I went to see the one and only, Gabriel Iglesias perform at the NAU campus in Flagstaff. Clearly it wasn't his biggest performance but he killed it all the same. Two other comedians also performed that night. A lot smaller than his usual entourage but funny none-the-less. It was a whole new show as Gabriel tried out new stories in his performance to see how they would hit off with his audience. Of course he was a humongous hit and even went on past his time on stage to perform some older stories.The epic part was that since they were old just about the entire house had heard them before and said them with him word for word. All in all it was an amazing night until when trying to leave we were trapped in the parking lot. Now coming to the high school with my head full of ideas and inspiration. I heard about a talent show that was going to take place soon and decided this could be my big chance to reach for the stars and touch them. Summoning every ounce of courage that I could muster I stalked up to the Drama director and signed up for an audition. When I lay awake at nights to this very day I wish I would have just walked away and let this one opportunity go. The thing was I couldn't tell a joke to save my life. Whenever I pull a funny its because I'm rolling with whatever situation I'm in. I'm like a situational comedian not a stand-up comedian, which is what I dream't to be. As the band finished their song I even conquered my stage fright for if just the briefest of moments to take that stage but as I sat down on the stool with mic in hand everything went wrong. I looked straight ahead into those bright lights and lost my concentration if only for an instant. That was all it took for all of my ideas to take flight leaving a very panic stricken Freshman without an act. Panicking I made the crucial mistake of looking down to first row and directly into the Drama directors eyes. Now she wasn't just giving me any observant judge look but a nasty stink eye as she stared me down which I found out later is kind of her thing. I could feel my body slowly turning to stone. I made a very weak attempt at a joke and eventually just stalked off stage. I walked up the steps to the exit feeling eternally shamed, taking a turn to the restrooms instead of leaving where I stood crying in frustration staring at my reflection sickened at what stared back. I felt as if I was in arms reach of the stars and blew it all in one audition. I sucked up my emotions and did my best to walk calmly back to the director and tell her I wouldn't be re-auditioning. As I walked home though it felt as if there was a massive weight off my chest and in its place an even bigger amount of shame. After that I was sucked into Drama somehow and now I'm storming the stage but with a whole new role. Sometimes we don't always get the part we want but the important thing is that we keep trying because you'll never know when you find yourself shining in a place you never imagined yourself in before.

Tie Breaker

Me and Dwayne have been friends since as long as I can remember. From the beginning of Freshman year it became a little inside joke to try and outdo the other. However things really got competitive in Audio/Visual class. Every day was a new challenge to try and outdo the other. As this went on each year the classes started getting involved in their own little spin off competitions. Before you knew it every class we started this in knew about our rivalry and some even joined in outside of Audio/Visual class. This is where things got rather coincidental though because whatever score I got so did Dwayne. For instance, we always chose tests to be the deciding factor on who was smarter than the other but whenever we revealed our scores it would ALWAYS be a tie. I could miss 15 questions and he would still tie with me, this actually happened once. As of recently we have gotten Mr. Strong's son involved in our little rivalry but that's a different story. Our rivalry carried out of Audio/Visual and into any class we shared. From Economics to Math but every outcome was the same; a tie. So the other day we were chilling in government realizing how awesome Mr. Stevens was taking notes blah blah. Then suddenly it was test day, I was so sure that I was going to crush Dwayne this time. Cramming isn't always bad right before a test and in most cases it saves me. How could I study on a beautiful day like the one before. So test is passed out and I immediately begin flying through it. Dwayne finished first of course with me following close after. I knew every answer on the test and for short answers and the essay I made sure to write down every little detail, even some that weren't in the notes. A few days later tests were being passed back and my gosh I had my fingers and toes crossed praying that I finally beat him. So he strolls over to the storage closet and brings out to big jugs of apple juice. Strange but you know whatever my test score is more important. Dwayne gets his first and I'm dying to know what he got but he refuses to tell me. I get my next and pull my best poker face as I'm walking back to my seat. 100/100 a flawless score, what are the odds that Dwayne scored a 100 to. Mr. Stevens announces that out of the class only two people scored perfect scores and that's who the apple juice was for. He called Dwayne up first and then me. I shook my fist at him and he just put on his best coy smile. I'll never be able to beat this evil genius but that isn't going to keep me from trying. I have to admit though ever since I started my competition to see who's smarter with him my grades have skyrocketed from what they used to be years ago.

Final Bow

February 3, the day I acted in my final high school performance. Ever since joining Drama I strived to give 200% going every extra mile for my troupe. Even going as far as to shave my beautiful head in the same of acting. I tried out for every play getting whatever part that I could reach. Even if that meant working behind stage as a techie. I always wanted to be a part of the major production, being able to say that I was there when it happened. When I first joined Drama I told myself that someday I would be a lead in a play but honestly I didn't believe it. Auditioning for 12 Angry Jurors I aimed low dreading the lead parts especially for a three act play. People kept telling me that I fit the lead part of Juror 3 really well so deciding why not i'll present my goods to the judges and see what they think. After screaming in the judges faces they asked me if I was really up for a lead part especially in a three act play. I looked at them straight faced and said "I'd like to give it my best shot". Up until now I had only ever been involved with one act plays. What a mind blowing surprise when I was given one of the leads, Juror 3. After that I attended every rehearsal trying to perfect my part. This lead was going to be my big final bow, the big performance to leave a lasting legacy in the minds of my audience before I went on to the next stage in life. I wouldn't "kill" my role until my final performance and we owned that play. People were shaking my hands telling me what an amazing actor I was. I didn't know how to react to such amazing critiques so I just smiled and waved. I was supremely proud though because I had achieved my goal that I set during Junior year and left a lasting legacy in the minds of my audience. I also want to be remembered not for just the main stage performing but the backstage acts as well. All the efforts and events I put into my troupe trying to reach every goal that was set before me. The countless hours spent with fellow actors trying to make ends meet. During the cast party as we broke down the set each cast member was given a marker and asked to sign the back of the actual set itself. Seniors were asked to leave pearls of wisdom for future generations of actors. I still remember asking the then current actors about Drama and why I should join. After being in Drama for such a short time and learning all I can I had a speech prepared for the same pep talk I was given to influence me to join Drama. In short what I wrote on the set is that "There is no such thing as small parts only small actors." and "Drama requires an unimaginable amount of dedication and conviction to not only your part but your troupe."

The Superbowl

February 5, Superbowl Sunday, the one day in the year when me and my family get together to watch football. It seemed like any other Superbowl everyone was picking sides. On the drive over, my entire family was claiming the Patriots would win without a doubt. So trying to stay neutral as possible I didn't decide until the game started. Deciding to take a risk I sided with the Giants. Honestly, I didn't care about either team I just showed up for the buffet everyone brought together. With a full plate and a Pepsi I sat down to watch the game. From the beginning you could tell the Patriots were not doing as good as they could have been as the Giants took the lead with a touchdown. Second quarter came though and the Patriots got serious, bowling through the Giants and scoring a touchdown. The game sort of went on like that with me being the one man crowd cheering for the Giants amongst Patriot fans. At half time my fathers friends finally showed up who were Giants fans. I felt as though the cavalry had finally shown itself. Everyone sat on the edge of their sat staring at the massive flatscreen. When it came down to it the Giants won the Superbowl. Ha as it turns out the one person to go against the mainstream opinion was the one to be right.

An Epic Performance

So its no big secret now that I'm hooked on Drama. It all started back in my Freshman year, I still cringe looking back at how ignorant and freshman I was. Any who I have to give big thanks to Mr. Flack because if it wasn't for him and his wacky class of which name does not occur to me at this very moment. He taught me to seize every opportunity the second it presents itself to me amongst many other things. It was nearing the end of the year and the Poetry Cafe was up and going strong. For weeks I had told myself that I'm going to do it, I am going to walk up to that stage and seize the stage. Weeks of prepping myself trying to build myself up as much as I could. As the day finally came and we strolled into the library I was riding high on my horse but as the time came I was about to stroll towards the stage when suddenly roots twisted out of the floor and rapped around my legs stopping me from leaving my sight. I tried to raise my hand and holler that I wanted to go next but invisible hands held me down and covered my mouth; stage fright and a severe case of it at that. My opportunity crawled by as my limbs became jelly and I slouched in my chair but fate was on my side today. I left for my next period class utterly defeated and ashamed of myself for letting such a chance pass me by. Much to my amazement I would have three more chances that day to redeem myself. It was during one of these three chances that I seized the opportunity. I tore from the roots that held me down and twisted my way out of the hands that held me. No it wasn't anything like that actually it was more like. I raised my hand timidly and slowly at the end when no one else would go up. They called me down and I slowly and almost painfully got out of my chair and walked down the aisle to the stage. It was as if I was walking to the post to be tied up for the Death Squad to come and shoot me. Each step was shaky and unsure as my legs became Jello, my heart slammed against my ribs doing everything to get away from there, my brain blanked. After what seemed an eternity I was climbing the stage thinking this was the biggest mistake of my life so far. As I read my poem trying desperately to control the uncontrollable shaking in my voice and limbs it seemed that the someone somewhere was against me getting off that stage without a hitch. Midway through my reading the speakers began blaring funny noises and I had theorized that to stop this from happening you just needed to bring the mic closer to the speaker itself. While testing this theory my reading became an unintended performance. To this day when asked about I just say "I just rolled with the punches". I was a huge success because after that day everybody knew of that Funny Freshman Michael, I felt like a superstar. Ever since I have performed in the Poetry Cafe since and this year I plan to make my final performance. After this I began feeling a belonging on the stage performing. Originally I had always wanted to be onstage making people laugh, a comedian. My dreams were shattered and stomped after an audition during Freshman year that I doubt anyone who was there is still around except the Drama Director. I had always considered being a part of Drama though but my devastating fear of being on the stage made stop myself before I made a mistake that would haunt me at night just like the Freshman audition. It wasn't until Junior year that the Drama Director herself approached me and my partner during class after we had done a rather dramatic presentation together. She asked us if to try out for the play "Mother Goose is Eaten by Werewolves" that we could actually make it in. I was extremely hesitant and afraid and my partner just said he couldn't because of sports. I told her the stage really isn't my sort of gig but she insisted and asked that I talk to some of the actors about it and see if they can persuade me. Well of course I was extremely skeptical at first but I reflected back on Mr. Flack and how this could be an amazing opportunity that I was letting slide by. Benefit of the doubt I went and talked to the cast individually about why they joined Drama and what made them stay in it. They each told me the exact same thing as if it was rehearsed. They told me they first entered drama because the Drama Director spoke to them individually like me or because they thought it looked like a new thing they wanted to try. They stuck with it because it was amazing fun to be on stage and performing this totally new character you've never known of and that once you hear them cheering for you at the end you just have to come back for more. LIES, LIES, LIES, and after spending half of Junior year and the rest of Senior year with Drama I can honestly say performing on stage is hard, scary, and frustrating. Spending nights of right after school to some ungodly hour rehearsing is tiring and awful. What was true I found is that as you walk out onto stage and the auditorium is just clapping and cheering for you that it really hits you where you live deep down somewhere in your mind. I know this because I walked away from Drama after that and I said you all lied to me that was the most awful trying experience of my life so far I was right after all. Then as the next play came along I said no but stopped and thought of the applause as people cheered my name and whistled for Phil the guard/King Shrimptoast. Working backstage during rehearsals with the other actors, laughing and asking Bertha Ratcatcher to unzip me as I slipped into more formal attire. I auditioned immediately; the whole experience is stressful, trying, and time consuming but hearing the crowd roar with such approval it makes it all worth it. You can't always get the part though sometimes you acting skills just aren't needed or someone can play the role better. It's time to suck up your pride and step out of the limelight for someone else but that doesn't mean you can't help. As I sold my soul to Drama I began to do everything I could to help every single production. From working a fundraiser from dawn till dusk to working backstage in any way I can. Now that I'm a Senior and on my way out I decided I was going to go out with a bang. This will be my final role in Drama as I prepare for the next stage in my life. From doing readings in the annual Poetry Cafe Drama took me to one acts where I always played minor roles or helped backstage but now I'm one of the largest roles in a three act play and am planning to shine as bright as I can. This will be my final performance and not to mention my biggest by far. From the Poetry Cafe to One Acts being performed in contests at Thespian Festial to a lead role in a Three Act I like to think I've come a long way from where I began. Someday if a Freshman or new trainee comes up to me asks what made you join Drama and stick with it? I'm going to laugh then groan then cry all in that order as I tell him/her about everything I've learned about the stage and what to expect. Also that he/she should be prepared to sell their soul to Drama because after that first production their going to want to do more until their taking every possible opportunity that presents itself.